Okay so all Nick's and my friends know me and Nick have been trying to get pregnant for years... Well it seems that all of them can get pregnant so easily... and most of them have recently... I'm happy for them I really am but I can't help but feel jealous and like a failure as a woman. I track it and it doesn't work, I sit back and just let it happen, and doesn't work take a break and that doesn't even work.... I can't afford ivf or adoption... I feel like I'll never get to be a mommy. Yes I have my friends kids but it's not the same. I want my own babies.
As soon as my insurance kicks in I'm going to go see an ob about this. Maybe I can find one that will understand that I want a baby I've been through three that just tell me to wait and give it time. I have been giving it time for almost 4 years! I need help! I've tried everything natural, tracking ovulation, tracking my cycle, and even the every other day method.
*Sigh*
Yet now even my "best friend" is pregnant (by accident) and wanted me be a part of her pregnancy yet doesn't call me at all the day of her appointment she wanted me to go with her to... I really don't understand I try and be a friend to everyone... I was with my friend the night she gave birth two weeks ago and I cried in the waiting room because I wanted to be the one having a baby in that delivery room... I loved being there for her because they are family, but I can't help but to feel hurt (not her fault at all)
I just don't know what to do anymore... I just want to ball up and not have to hear about pregnancy or pregnant women for a while. Considering I can't get pregnant and the only two times I have gotten pregnant I have lost it. :(
